Ranked: Top 10 Disney Pets

disney-pets

We’ve all been there – Saturday night, PJ’s on watching Disney movies with the kids (or the dog, or Ben and Jerry) and the thought pops into your head:

“Wouldn’t it be cool to have [insert character name] as a pet?”

The answer is yes, it would be cool. Very cool. But just how cool would it be? And what happens when it stops being cool? We decided to rank Disney characters on their suitability as pets, and these are the results:

Disclaimer: This list is based entirely on personal opinion as makes no apologies for inconsistency and general disregard of terrible movies like Tangled and Frozen. We have only considered Disney animals that are (mostly) domesticated; so sorry, Lion King, Jungle Book et al, you’re awesome movies but we’d have to be crazy to recommend your characters as pets! (All images © copyrighted by Disney, all rights reserved.)

10. Stitch – Lilo & Stitch
By far the worst of the bunch, but probably the coolest. Somehow (and often) confused for a dog, Stitch is actually a genetically engineered alien with super strength, super intelligence and the ability to see in the dark. He’s also bullet and fireproof which may come in handy for those residing in questionable neighborhoods. Bringing new meaning to the term scenery-chewing, Stitch spends most of his screen time destroying everything and everyone he comes into contact with. Thankfully, by the end of the movie he comes to learn the meaning of friendship and, more importantly, ohana from his adopted Hawaiian owner Lilo.
Personality: 0/10
Companionship: 1/10
House Training: 0/10
Special Abilities: 10/10

Total: 11/40

9. Abu – Aladdin
“He’s got a sword!” Who didn’t want Abu as their pet/sidekick after seeing Aladdin the first time? True, primates make problematic pets once they reach maturity but we’re assuming it’s a while before that happens for Abu. After all, observe how cold he is to Aladdin when Jasmine comes on the scene and how he refuses to share bread with the homeless kids at the start of the movie. Bad pet etiquette, buddy! Abu is, however, armed with reliably sticky fingers and a nose for trouble, standing out as one of the most charismatic non-speakers in a film crammed with personality. One of our personal faves. What do you mean you prefer Genie?
Personality: 7/10
Companionship: 8/10
House Training: 0/10
Special Abilities: 5/10

Total: 20/40

8. Thomas O’Mally – The Aristocats
Sing along: everybody wants to own a cat. And if you’re rich, crazy old cat lady Madame Adelaide Bonfamille, you want to leave your entire fortune to your feline friends, apparently. Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey (or just O’Mally the alley) a talented crooner, philanderer, and rescuer extraordinaire, plays a key role in thwarting Edgar the butler’s attempt to pilfer said inheritance. Helping beautiful damsels in distress is this Tom Cat’s specialty, after all. And, like most Disney stray animals-done-good, Thomas earns adoption for his efforts. The question we’d like answered: isn’t he just a golddigger and what kind of example does that set for our impressionable kids?
Personality: 8/10
Companionship: 9/10
House Training: 1/10
Special Abilities: 5/10

Total: 23/40

7. Nemo – Finding Nemo
With an endearing, malformed right fin and personality to boot, Sharkbait (AKA Nemo) would make an excellent addition to your aquarium. And let’s not forget Clownfish are hilarious, right? The problem: he’ll most likely do a runner. Also, he’s a wild tropical fish and let’s face it, poaching tropical fish just isn’t cool! Unless you’re cooking, in which case they’re absolutely delicious. Just kidding! As a companion and escape artist, Nemo excels – he is, after all, the one who devises the cunning Grouper escape at the film’s climax. Alas, as a pet he would kind of suck. Though it might be interesting to watch the little blighter at work.
Personality: 8/10
Companionship: 8/10
House Training: 2/10
Special Abilities: 6/10

Total: 24/40

6. Remy – Ratatouille
Suck at cooking? Do we have the perfect pet for you! Remy’s superb sense of taste and smell propel him to the top of the gastronomic game. Ok, so tradition and common sense dictate keeping rodents out of the kitchen, but Remy is not one to back down from a culinary confrontation. Grabbing the metaphorical bull by the horns (safely out of sight under a toque), Remy proves himself a loyal companion and master chef, going on to create his pièce de résistance dish – spoiler alert – ratatouille. If you’re unable to suspend your disbelief, however, Remy might not be the pet for you.
Personality: 7/10
Companionship: 7/10
House Training: 1/10
Special Abilities: 10/10

Total: 25/40

5. Lady – Lady and the Tramp
Proof that, given a little time, new born babies and canines get along just fine. Bring a cat (or two) into the equation, however, and you’re asking for trouble. Sure, it takes a while to hone those obedience skills but Lady develops into a formidable, feisty and loyal family member. With a penchant for bad boys, meatballs and chasing off rodents – in no particular order – this lady is definitely not a tramp.
Personality: 7/10
Companionship: 8/10
House Training: 9/10
Special Abilities: 3/10
Total: 27/40

4. Jiminy Cricket – Pinocchio
Low maintenance? Check. Winning personality? Check. Boasting an enviable set of pipes (belting out the definitive version of Disney’s classic theme When You Wish Upon A Star) and an absolutely fabulous fashion sense, Jiminy Cricket is proof that insects make great pets. And, in a world full of temptations, this little guy will help guide your moral compass through thick and thin – just give a little whistle. But don’t call him “grasshopper” or he will knock your block off.
Personality: 9/10
Companionship: 9/10
House Training: 5/10
Special Abilities: 5/10

Total: 28/40

3. Zero – The Nightmare Before Christmas
Yes, it’s a Disney movie. Loveable ghost dog Zero with his glowing jack-o’-lantern nose provides a much-needed counterpoint to Jack Skellington’s scheming shenanigans. But, as fog thicker than jellied brains descends, Zero winds up leading his master’s hair-brained mission to hijack Christmas. Doing a spot-on Rudolph impression along the way, Zero proves himself a faithful canine companion, even in spirit form. Initially rising from his doghouse tombstone, we’re reminded that dogs do indeed have souls and this one has survived far beyond doggie heaven.
Personality: 9/10
Companionship: 8/10
House Training: 5/10
Special Abilities: 7/10

Total: 29/40

2. Pongo – 101 Dalmatians
Forget Tinder. Pongo is the single most efficient wingman to help you find the one. There’s a hidden agenda, of course, because Pongo is looking for his own bedmate. Dirty dog! Then, before you know it, you’ve got 15 Dalmatian puppies on your hands, and more on the way. You’d have to be crazy about canines to select Pongo as a pet, because that number eventually grows to 99 spotty puppies. But if you have a big enough house in the country, you’re sure to love this character’s intelligence, determination and devotion to his family, against all the odds.
Personality: 8/10
Companionship: 9/10
House Training: 9/10
Special Abilities: 7/10

Total: 33/40

1. Nana – Peter Pan
“Poor Nana!” Who could fault the steadfast companionship and unflinching maternal instincts of Nana the Newfoundland? Constantly cleaning up after and caring for her charges, Nana takes the ‘man’s best friend’ moniker to new heights. Even despite the borderline abuse suffered at the hands of meanie George Darling. Yes, there is something more than questionable about the bedtime “tonic” she dispenses for the Darling children, and Wendy, John and Michael are technically kidnapped under her supervision. But to be fair, Nana is tied up in the yard as Peter, Tink and the gang flutter off to Neverland.
Personality: 7/10
Companionship: 9/10
House Training: 10/10
Special Abilities: 9/10
Total: 35/40

Don’t agree with our list? That’s what the comment section’s for!

2018-08-09T17:30:31+00:00

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